Hey Solo Sister | Stories from Single Mothers & Unwed Mothers | Heysolosister.com
Hear stories from single mothers and unwed mothers in Singapore. Understand your rights and find out more about government subsidies, baby bonus, CDA and other support for single parents.
unwed mothers, single mothers, single parents, single mum, unplanned pregnancies, wedlock baby, Singapore, support, government subsidies, baby bonus, CDA, support for single parents, single mum rights
1669
page-template-default,page,page-id-1669,page-child,parent-pageid-1812,eltd-core-1.0.3,ajax_fade,page_not_loaded,,borderland-ver-1.8, vertical_menu_with_scroll,smooth_scroll,wpb-js-composer js-comp-ver-4.11.1,vc_responsive

Chapter 4: Small Hands, Big Plans

The pregnancy was just the beginning. The first few years of your child’s life is where it starts getting serious. As a solo sister, you will probably face challenges unique to an unwed mum such as having to raise a child on a single income or explaining to your child why he’s the only one who doesn’t need to write a card for his daddy on Father’s Day. Take a deep breath and keep going.

 

Looking for specific information? Quick jump to:

Solo Sister Benefits

 

There are a few schemes that unwed mothers are not entitled to that married mothers are. However, help is still available to unwed mothers through other schemes and subsidies.

Source: Artidote | Painting: Kate Shaw

A Helping Hand: Christabel

 

Her daughter’s medical condition was an area of great concern for Christabel. She knew she wouldn’t be able to pay for her daughter’s prosthetic hand on her income. Fortunately, with help from her social worker and subsequently SGEnable, which funded almost 70-80% of the total cost of the prosthetic, she was able to offer her daughter a normal life.

It may seem as if unwed mothers are highly disadvantaged in Singapore. Regardless, make the best of what you have and tap into the benefits that have been made available to you. Find out what these benefits are.

Legal considerations

 

The small decisions you make now, such as whether to keep the father’s name in the birth certificate, can have implications in the future.

 

Read more to find out what’s best for your child and yourself.

Caring For Your Child

 

Even though you probably have your own set of mother instincts, there are still so many things to learn when it comes to raising a child. There’s no easy way out!

Source: Artidote | Painting: Alyssa Monks

Small But Demanding: Cindy

 

For Cindy, her pregnancy caught her completely off-guard. She was too young and too naïve, thinking that all babies did all day was sleep and eat. She wasn’t prepared for the non-stop crying. She didn’t know how to make it stop. And one day, when the crying became too much to bear, Cindy had to stop herself from throwing her son against the wall. Fortunately, she was able to hold herself back. That was the moment she decided she needed to find out more about her baby if she were to be a good mother to her child.

There’s homework to be done. Read on to learn more about how to care for your child in his early years.

Your Postnatal Health

 

Follow-up visits after birth will ensure that you and your baby are fit and healthy to face the years ahead.

Postnatal/pregnancy Check-ups

Four to six weeks after giving birth, your doctor or midwife will call you in to check on your physical recovery from pregnancy and delivery, to assess your emotional health and to decide on the course of action for the months ahead.

 

Prepare yourself for these check-ups by finding out more.

Postnatal Depression

Postnatal depression is a condition that is common among new mothers. Seek help and speak to someone:

 

 

KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital

Hotline: +65 6294 4050

Operating Hours: Mondays to Fridays, 8am – 6pm | Saturday, 8.30am-1pm | Sunday, 9am- 12pm

 

 

Read up on postnatal depression.

Relevant Contacts

KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital

If you need a doctor or have any queries, call +65 6294 4050.

Contactable during: Mondays to Fridays, 8am – 6pm | Saturday, 8.30am-1pm | Sunday, 9am- 12pm

For postnatal visits, proceed to O&G 24-hour Clinic, Basement 1.

DaySpring New Life Centre

For postnatal matters, baby care and parenting skills, call +65 64630182.

More information is available here.

Family Life Society

Counselling services: +65 6382 0688 (Mondays – Fridays, 10am – 5pm)

Parenting tips: +65 6488 0278 (Mondays to Saturdays, 10am – 5pm)

Learn more for yourself.

Seek help from medical professionals as you recover from your pregnancy and as your child grows.

Communication With Your Child

 

It’s important to let your child understand why his family is slightly different from other children’s families. Let him know that it is not by any fault of his. Above all, let your child know that you love him and that a missing parent, in no way, determines his worth. Or yours, for that matter.

Source: Artidote | Artwork: Moonassi

Who’s My Daddy: Jean

 

Seeing how the other children call their fathers ‘daddy’, Jean’s young son has learnt to call them that too, not understanding that ‘daddy’ refers to one’s own father. While Jean doesn’t see the need to explain his father’s whereabouts at this point in time, she hopes that he will understand all of it one day. To her, there is nothing to be ashamed about and she wants him to be clear about that.

Read more stories of how other solo sisters explained the complex situation to their curious children.