Hey Solo Sister | Stories from Single Mothers & Unwed Mothers | Heysolosister.com
Hear stories from single mothers and unwed mothers in Singapore to find out how they made their decisions.
unwed mothers, single mothers, single parents, single mum, unplanned pregnancies, wedlock baby, Singapore, support
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Chapter 1: Signs of Life

What To Do Now

 

So you’re single and you just found out you’re pregnant, what happens now? It’s alright to be scared, it’s OK to cry. This can be a very confusing time and there are probably many questions running through your mind at this very moment. The important thing to remember is that help is out there and you’re not alone. Just take Yan Ping for example.

The Dilemma: Yan Ping

Source: Artidote | Artwork: Marion Fayolle

Yan Ping is a mother of a clever little girl and a joyful little boy. She is in her late 30s.

 

When Yan Ping found out about her first pregnancy, she was filled with fear. The divided opinions of the people around her made her confused and exasperated. She was torn between two options: to keep the child or to let it go. While she knew that her father wanted her to get an abortion, others told her to hold on to the ‘gift from God’. She felt lost and stressed. And above all, Yan Ping felt terribly and completely alone.

 

For Yan Ping, the decision to keep her daughter changed from day to day. There were days where the entire weight of the situation became almost unbearable and the thought of giving up seemed tempting. There were days where immense loneliness would dawn upon her. It could in the aisle of a baby shop, in the cold, sterile waiting room of a clinic, or at her dining table with all its empty chairs. Other days, she felt a little more optimistic and truly believed that she and her baby were going to be alright.

First things first

 

Before you go on, here are some important things to take note of at this point in time.

Confirming Your Pregnancy

If you suspect that you may be pregnant, buy a pregnancy test kit from pharmacies such as Guardian and Watsons and find out at home. However, to be absolutely sure, you are recommended to visit a doctor for a urine or blood test.

Seeing A Doctor

Whether or not you’re thinking of keeping the baby, seeking medical help is the safest bet for both yourself and your potential baby. These medical professionals will answer any doubt you have and recommend the best courses of action to take.

 

Pro-bono contacts 

(Coming soon)

What About The Father?

During this time, it is your decision whether or not you tell the father about the baby. Things are bound to get a little complicated – if you tell him, how will he react? If you don’t, what happens next? Will he want to stay around, get married or completely disappear from the equation? And more importantly, what do you want?

 

You don’t have to figure this out on your own. Talk to counsellors, get a mediator and resolve the ‘father’ issue with them. Here are some people you can call.

Breaking The News

 

For the people who are closest to you in your life, telling them about your pregnancy can be one of the toughest things to do. You’re worried to disappoint them, you’re worried they’ll leave you. You’re worried that they’ll get so angry that you’d be even more alone in this journey than you already are. These worries are real but keep in mind that family support in this time could change everything.

Revealing The Truth: Katherine

Source: Artidote | Artwork: Jarek Puczel

Katherine was afraid to tell her parents when she found out she was pregnant. She knew they wouldn’t be happy. She decided to start small by telling her sister but it wasn’t long till her mother found out as well. Needless to say, her mother was very upset. Yet, when the time came, her mother’s worry turned into love for her grandchild. Thus, through the months of pregnancy and even till now, her mother has been a strong pillar of support for both Katherine and her son.

Although Katherine’s family was supportive of her, not all parents would be accepting of the news. Therefore, if you need help breaking the news or need somewhere to stay for the time being, seek help:

Hotlines

DaySpring New Life Centre 

+65 6463 0182

nlc@dayspring.org.sg

234 Turf Club Road, S(287984)

Family Life Society, Pregnancy Crisis Service

+65 6339 9770

help@pregnancycrisis.sg
7A Lorong 8 Toa Payoh #04-01
Agape Village, Singapore 319264

Babes (For teenagers only)

(SMS) +65 8111 3535

(Call) 1800-TEENMOM / 1800 8336666

hello@babes.org.sg

26 Jalan Klinik #01-42/52, S(160026)